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Struggling~ Does My Husband Have A Mistress?

NovelShort Completed

Love Tangled

"If happy ever after did exist, why do married couples split apart?" The same question Andrea Bartolome had in her mind when things between her husband, Mike Villaflor, started to be wrong. Her life with her husband is almost perfect. A doctor herself married a public-school teacher; both are professionals in different fields. The combination of their salary is pretty enough in preparation for Gian’s future---their son. Yet things perceived to be almost perfect need to overcome an obstacle. Their bond as a husband and wife started to have crack on the edges when Andrea started to doubt her husband having an affair with another woman. Who would’ve else be the number one opponent of a legal wife aside from the mistress? And that is something Andrea has been struggling with. Because of her desire to protect her family, how would a legal wife make a win over the mistress?

Chapters (9)

第1章

"Thank you very much to your team, Doc Andeng! Even though this mountain that you are climbing is very high, you still visit here every month to check up on adults and children here." "Even our pets, Cora!" said an old man whose hat was in tatters. "Even our pet dogs and cats here can be vaccinated against common diseases. Thank you very much, doctor, for your service to us. Even if we don't have a single peso to pay you." "Why do you have to pay me, Mang Ben... Well, it's a free consultation," I laughed. "It is enough for me to receive your many thanks for my team's service to you. That's too much to pay us." I'm showing this without any plasticity, just to see that the people who live here in Manoag mountain are happy, I'm fine. It is really because the people from here must travel so far just to get to the center or the hospital, it's too much of a hassle for them if they are the one going to the doctors. So, I thought of starting this voluntary project for people like them who are not capable of accessing hospitals. Especially now that illnesses such as colds and coughs are trending among young people and the elderly because the rainy season is starting again, it would be better for them to have regular check-ups. Well, I can't visit them weekly since my schedule as a doctor is also tight, and at the same time I'm also a surgeon at the big hospital in Manaoag. "Eat first before you leave." Aling Susan ran to pick up the missing biko from the long table that was prepared in the area. "It's freshly cooked, doctor. I can assure you this is delicious!" What's beautiful about this place is that their houses are built nearly close to each other. They were able to have their meals together, and that was the reason why there was a long table made of bamboo prepared. There they spread a large banana leaf and prepare their food there. And they will share it together. "Maybe just wrap me up some of it. After Mildred's wound is as tight as this and has done some treatment, we are leaving. You know I couldn't stay here for long since I also have patients waiting for me at the clinic," I was still a little shy when I said that. With their very welcoming approach to us, it was really embarrassing to refuse their invitation to share a meal with them. If my schedule is loose, I won't say no. It's just, as I mentioned earlier... I'm a very busy person. Either at the clinic or at home. "Your wound is going to be fine, Mildred. Don't forget what I said that you shouldn't play games, so you don't strain your foot or make another wound among the sharp objects here, huh?" my advice to the last patient I treated. In her case, she scratched her skin because she enjoys playing games with her playmates. The children here don't have slippers, so she steps on sharp objects, leading her to have a mild wound on her skin. "Aling Nena, the medicine I gave you, huh? Please don't forget about that. You must make Mildred drink those three times a day. Done in a week. Also, don't feed her spicy foods. As much as possible, just vegetables first. Okay?" "Yes, doc." "Surely the next day, I will send here a sufficient number of slippers for the children. I'll just order because maybe 'til next month we'll see each other again. I hope as I come back here, I'll be able to see all of you look healthier." "Oh, thank you so much for caring about us, doc!" Aling Marites came to me carrying the small container where she wrapped the biko. Of course, my friends also have it. "You are really a shining star fell from the sky to guide us and took care of us here. We are lucky that you care about us, doc. May you be blessed." "You are very much welcome. All of you. So, we're g0nna go ahead." After packing our things, I also stood up from where I was sitting earlier. "I hope when I come back here, I won't have to treat as many people as now, okay? Always be careful!" And my struggle as well as my fellow nurses started again when going down the mountain. The road is also very muddy because it just rained heavily. We really need to double the caution because just one wrong step can make us slip. "Doc, how long do you plan to go here? Up above this mountain?" I heard Albert ask me, one of the nurses I was with. "I mean... it's not that I don't want to come here with you anymore or that it's tiring. But what I mean is that... aren't you having a hard time? Apart from the difficult way going on the peak of this mountain, uh... as well as your schedule, doc? Aren't you having a hard time having a tight schedule and still visiting those residents up here?" "If you're worried about Bernard attacking me once again because of this project, just don't mind him," I responded, laughing. Bernard, my colleague in the Pedia Department, is one of the doctors who has always been frustrated about my presence. I don't even know why he has been frustrated or hated me that much, since as far as I know... I'm not doing anything wrong towards him. He's the only one who is often sloppy and then he gets angry with me. "It's not Doc Bernard," I heard Marie say. "Uh... I'm sorry if we heard you and your husband fighting in the restroom the other night, doc." When we finally got off and were in front of the SUV, I stopped to face the two nurses who accompanied me for today's visit. I'm not aware that someone witnessed my husband and I fight just last night. "Albert and I accidentally heard someone exchanging words in the restroom, and we were on our way home at that time. Albert was a little curious-" "You're the one who got curious, Marie! I just agree with you to stay at the back door and listen to their fight silently." "Okay, fine! I was really the one who took the first move to eavesdrop!" Marie exclaimed while having a fight with Albert. And she looked at me again, straight to my face. "That's it, doc... we're really curious about what's happening inside. And we found out that it was your voice. I'm sorry if we listened to the battle you're having with your husband, doc." I smiled bitterly. I didn't make it a big deal that they were curious about my husband and I fighting, but then I still felt an annoyance factor because of that. My attention was more focused because I remembered that night again... the night that crushed me so much. "You can't even tell me where that lipstick I saw inside your pants came from, Mike! You can't even explain why you have that on your clothes if you really don't have another woman!" My voice was almost hoarse as tears continued to flow from my eyes. "I came here to pick you up and ask you to go out with our son, Gian. Not to fight with you, Andrea. I don't understand how you can think of those things. You don't have to overthink that much, honey!" He tries to come closer to me and tries to hug me, but I just push him away and walk away. I can't squeamish being touched by someone like him. "Did you see the photo I sent to you, Mike? I hope before you came here, you opened your messenger-" "I saw that. And that's a fvcking lie-" "Justify your answer then! How can you tell me that the picture Jasmine took of you with another woman at the bar is not true? How? What is your reason for denying me that? Convince me that's not true. Alright... I'll listen! I'll lend my ears to you, just make sure you're about to give me a detailed explanation that makes sense." Ten seconds passed... twenty... thirty... but nothing. I didn't hear a single word from him. I gave him a chance to explain to me, but he wasted it. "I'm done-" "You want to break the marriage we had for a suspicion that you haven't proven yet? I hope you understand that we have a child, Andrea!" he snorted at me. "Because even if you push us to divorce, I will make sure that Gian goes to me. And will choose to be with his father." And after that, I don't know anymore. I lost the strength to challenge Mike for a divorce after he said that he would make a way of having Gian stay with him on one roof. Well... I'm not afraid of having to fight Gian in court. Fight for custody. Because the thing I was afraid of the most was raising my son in an incomplete family. Until now, he is not aware that my relationship with his father is getting worse. It's because I didn't let him know there was something wrong between his parents. I grew up in a broken family. My father left us because of his woman. And it is very difficult to live and grow up in a family that is not complete. So, I promised myself then that as much as possible, as long as I can endure and I can solve my problem once I have my own family, I will not give up the marriage I had. I will not give up on our relationship Mike and I had. I won't let my future child just be like me. I feel the feeling of growing up without a father... and for Gian... I don't want him to experience that either. "Whatever things you heard that night, please don't spread it. I can also fix my problem with my husband. We just had a little misunderstanding, and I'm sure we can find a way to fix it," I said to the two with a smile. And afterwards, we went inside the SUV. We are all tired, so we really need enough rest before starting another duty.

第2章

"Honey, aren't you going to eat first?" Mike greeted me. He was still wearing an apron while he had a ladle in his hand in the kitchen. "I'm going to eat with you. This dish I cooked is your favorite!" "I'm tired, Mike. I want to sleep." I immediately went upstairs to go to our room. Apart from the fact that we're still not okay because of the fight that happened last night, I still can't get along with my husband because I'm so tired. Imagine that I came from the mountain to check-up on the elderly there and the children, and even their pets and provide vaccination for them... Well, every time I go to that place, my energy becomes very low when arriving home. So, I just ignored my husband's effort to cook me my favorite dish—of course, his specialty is chicken adobo. "Andrea?" The bedroom door opened, and Mike was spat out, who was no longer wearing an apron. "Are you still madding at me? Do you still doubt me that I have another woman?" "Forget about that. I'm tired-" "With so much work I have to do as a public-school teacher, how could you think that I still have time to find another woman without realizing the excessive workloads I have? Because my monthly salary is lower than yours, do you think you are doing more than me? That you are busier than me? That I have more time to find another woman than you? That between us, I have so much time to find a way to cheat in our relationship than you?" I think I don't sound like I'm attracting him to start an argument with me... but he's the one starting it. What I really meant by saying I'm tired is really my desire to have some rest... and yet, he is fighting with me now. "Mike, stop. I did not say anything like that-" "I'm sorry. I just got carried away." Fortunately, he calmed down and sat down next to me. He held my hands and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to." "We're both tired, I knew it. You're tired from school and I... I'm tired from the hospital. I know both our minds and bodies are drained for today, so please... let's just rest. Just reschedule our fight." "No... I don't want us having an argument... ever again. Please?" Mike started showering me with kisses all over my face... and the next, to my body. This is perhaps the way he wanted both of us to get some rest—by making our night extra hot and spicy. Although... I also missed having sex with him. We were too busy with our jobs to the point that we lost time for our own needs... and good thing... Tonight we didn't fight anymore. Because tonight, we're trying to make another member of our family. "Do you really want this to continue?" he asked. When he is enjoying my body while his hands are squeezing my breast, that's the time he asked and caused a sudden interruption. "I thought you wanted to rest?" he asked teasingly. "Your cock will possibly get mad if we stop this." I didn't let myself be beat by Mike. I retaliated against her teasing. "Less talk, please. And more... kiss and touch." After all we have already started the night to be warm, we will continue it. As my body felt so hot, while Mike bathed me with a kiss on the lips, and he even licked my face with her wet tongue, I let my hands take off my uniform—and I just noticed just now that I'm still wearing my lab coat. When I finally undressed myself, only my underwear remained. Now that the wind is blowing against my skin, I can feel my hairs stand up at the tingling sensation on my skin. The kissing has continued. Mike laid my body on the bed, and he placed his body on top. He violently took off his clothes as well as his pants, and only the boxer shorts he was wearing were left attached on his body—hiding his huge cock. I was tickled by Mike kissing my body. The next thing he did, he's licking my nipple down to my tummy... and that was the best feeling while we did this... sexual intercourse. My body was raised, and my eyes were left perked up when he couldn't wait to insert his finger into my vagina. Licking while entering his finger down to my core, I moaned in pain, and at the same time moaned in pleasure. "Please... don't stop," I moaned. I bit my lower lip to stop myself moaning loudly. Because Gian was in the other room, and when I moaned louder the boy might wake up. It's already late at night and I'm sure my young man is fast asleep. "It hurts a little at first-" "No need to inform me about that. It's our second time doing this. Just... put it in." I was laughing the whole time while my eyes were glued to his big and long dick. I was damn waiting for this moment a bit longer. And now that it's going to happen... that I was left staring at Mike as he slowly inserted it into me, there was a time when I winced at the pain I felt when I felt its head enter... until half of the body entered... and until he was able to push it... I admit even though it was the second time we did it, it still really hurt. Our bodies swayed together as Mike began to move. Of course, at first, he was going in and out slowly... but then when my body got used to the pain again... it changed nicely... I want him to move faster. "Thrust me more... faster..." I moaned again. "Ugh!" "Faster!" "Ugh! Yeah... that's right!" What we both do is crazy. I lose my mind every time we do this. It's like I can't see anything but white. My eyes do nothing but stare. And the speed with which Mike rode me until we reached the sky... his juice entering me served as the exciting part of our wet night. Breathlessly, our bodies separated from each other. We are both wet. My vagina was still throbbing after the action that happened... and I was like... "How I wish... we can do this more often." The smile on my lips disappeared when I suddenly realized that it seemed impossible to happen. Both of our jobs require our whole life to spend with. And those scenes... they only happen once in a blue moon. So, sometimes I wonder... what if Mike's body suddenly seeks sex? When I'm not available... Does he go to another woman to meet his needs?

第3章

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the salon with me, doc? Don't you miss having wavy hair?" Helena, one of my close friends who married the CEO visited me at the clinic today. "No offense meant, but I always noticed your hair having split ends. Looks like your hair really needs a professional salon!" "I use a hair treatment on my hair, Helen. Not only is the effect very fast, but I can stand it if I must wait two to three weeks for its effectiveness. That's perfectly fine with me," I hissed, not actually being offended with what she had said. I'm overconfident to brag about the product I use on my hair to her just to let her know I won't be dependent on hairstylists at the salon anymore. I don't know if it's just me who doesn't like letting someone touch any part of my body except myself... and of course my husband. As much as possible, I want to take care of my body myself rather than relying on other people to do that work. "I'm just worried about you. Maybe because when you start to look older than your age because of focusing more on your work, your husband would lose his interest in you." I think she was threatening me. "I mean... Let's be realistic here, Doc Andeng. We know that today's men get bored easily. They will eventually lose their taste in us or find us boring, plain and not giving them thrill and chills anymore if they begin not liking our face or body no more, and then they begin to find another woman who has a different mold and smells fresh." I lost focus on writing the prescription because of the idea that Helen brought to my mind. Because Mike and I were fine last night, I supposed. The two of us have had sex, and I assume things between us have been fixed. And there comes Helen... visiting me at my clinic to give me another reason to overthink. "That's why I'm asking for your consultation, and that's why I'm here. I intend to do breast enhancement. Do you recommend me having one? Then how big should I add?" she replied laughingly. "You know... I need professional advice before I continue this, so I'm trying to ask for your help." "Uh..." My brain went completely blank. My focus was really broken a while ago because of what Helen mentioned to me. "Is your husband the reason you want breast enhancement?" "He's always the reason why I retouch my body, isn't he?" She's talking as if she's being proud of how desperate she has been, all because of her husband. "I noticed that he doesn't seem happy to have sex with me every time I try to entice him to do it. I'm looking at the factor, maybe he's no longer satisfied with the size my breasts have or the fluffiness it gives to him... and, uh... that's why I thought of investing money for this." Because I don't really know what I should answer, I just agreed to whatever she wanted. It is Helen's right to do whatever she wants to do with her body, because after all, it's her body. "Whatever choice you have for your body, go for it. As a medical practitioner, I don't see anything wrong if you choose to continue the surgery. If you know that it will be good for you and your husband, well... to make him satisfied by fvcking you... it's up to you." "That's not the only reason why I prefer to be young in my husband's eyes." Helen kept laughing at me without realizing that it was time for her to leave my clinic. She is not my only patient. "We know that men lose their interest in their women so quickly. They are very quick to be tempted by girls who are fresher than you, so for them to stop looking into another woman aside from you... well, you must be fresh yourself and look young in his eyes, right?" She also bid her goodbye to me after talking not so necessary words. I don't know if I still need to waste my time thinking about what Helen is saying to me or just ignore those? Where in fact, those are not helpful but more likely she's giving me reasons to doubt my husband even more. After the night he fvcked me, my doubts about him disappeared like a bubble, eh. The case comes back suddenly because Helen told me something I should overthink again. "Doc, did you hear what I said?" I was brought back from my trance when I heard the new patient in front of me speak. For a moment, my brain went blank because of what Helen told me... which really bothered me a lot. "I'm sorry. What are you feeling again?" "Uh... I said I was feeling sick. Then I haven't experienced a menstrual period for two months," said a young woman. And after all, she looks mature for a young girl. "I was worried that something bad might be happening to me, so I ran in here." "Have you tested yourself for a possible pregnancy?" She shook his head at me. "I'm afraid to do it. Maybe it's just a hallucination that I'm going to get pregnant, and when I find out that it's confirmed that I'm pregnant, I'm scared that my parents would know about this." "So, what's the sense of going here? To ask me to diagnose you that you have another illness aside from the fact that you're showing symptoms of early pregnancy?" While she's just being silent, I just shake my head at people like her... who don't want to get pregnant because their parents might reject them, but that's also their fault. They don't even use protection during sex if they aren't ready to become parents. "I'm afraid you are," I said. "Unless you accept your situation, we will definitely be able to proceed with the next processes. For now, you have to test yourself to confirm." I handed her a pregnancy test which is always available in my clinic. For possible cases of patients who don't know they are pregnant based on the symptoms their body is trying to show them, my clinic is always ready for those kinds of incidents. Just in case, I wondered why she didn't want to pick up the PT lying on the table. "Let me ask you a question," I said to get the woman's attention. "Have you gone into sexual intercourse recently?" "You say I'm showing symptoms of early pregnancy, and now you're trying to ask have I had sex with someone?" She laughed at me while rolling her eyes at me. "In my fifteen years in the medical field, none from my patients have been rude to me-" "Okay, I'm sorry," she apologized. "Of course, I had sex with someone recently. That's why I'm afraid that maybe when it's confirmed that I'm pregnant... Apart from my parents, I'm also afraid that the father of my baby... I'm afraid he won't choose us." "Why does he have to choose?" "He has his own family. He has a son and a wife. He's a married man. And I'm still not sure that if he finds out that he got me pregnant, he'll be ready to trade his family for his son and me. He'll be willing to leave his own family and just choose us and his baby with me... and we'll start a new life." I suddenly got stuck in the process of organizing the folders in my table cabinet. I immediately returned to my composure and made myself presentable as I looked at my patient with fear on her face. Because if my beginning doubts are not mistaken, maybe this young lady I was facing is a mistress.

第4章

"You will not have a good future by being a mistress. And I'm saying this not just because I'm a doctor. I also have my own family and it's just sad that you would choose to be a mistress rather than a woman that is being brought to the altar. You'll never experience the feeling of being a legal wife if you remain that man's mistress." If this woman thinks that I'm interfering in her life, then go on. As much as possible, I will find ways to stop those mistresses making themselves multiply. "May it be a legal wife or a mistress, I don't care. If I know we love each other, I won't let him down. I will not break our relationship," she said firmly and went to the bathroom inside my clinic carrying the PT. When she disappeared in front of me, I just made sure I found the time to breathe easy. Since I realized that she got pregnant by a married man... and that she is a mistress, my brain never stopped overthinking again and again. Add to that, one thing I noticed about her—that her lips are wearing lipstick the same color as the lipstick I found in Mike's pants pocket. There is a big possibility that it might just be a coincidence. It's not just because only one person can have the same shade of lipstick that I saw on my husband. But as a desperate wife trying hard to find the truth and nearly got crazy a little more push, I just can't control myself thinking that the woman who got pregnant by a married man and whom she loves so much... What if it's Mike? "Here it is, doc." My overthinking was severely interrupted when the PT was placed on my table. "How long do I have to wait?" "It's just a moment." I didn't have to wait long for the PT the woman used to have results. It was only later that it showed the result... It shows two red lines... which means she is indeed positive for pregnancy. "It should be great news to you that you're pregnant..." I returned the PT to her and showed her the result. "But I'm afraid the result is not as great news to you now, I believe." I felt sorry for her when I saw tears forming in her eyes. She may not be vocal with me, but as I have many patients that I interact with... sometimes I can read my patient's mind by just looking at them. And with the young lady I'm facing right now... it's really bad news for her to know that she's pregnant. Of course, that was a shame for her parents once they knew that the father of their daughter's baby happened to be a married man. "I'll go first, doc," she said and stood up from the chair. I couldn't stop her even though there was one more thing I wanted to tell her—that I hope she wouldn't reach the point where she would decide that just so she wouldn't disgrace their family name, she would abort the child. — "She said she had a stroke, mars. She couldn't bear to know that her husband has another woman, so there she was... she used to treat the patients and now she's the patient who shall take care of," Kath told me. She is one of my friends who is also a doctor. "Attorney Herbert got a mistress? I don't think that's believable?" Because I personally know Meann's wife, the one who had a stroke and a doctor with us in the field. Herbert has been loyal to Meann since his college days! "Since when did those men have done a good thing? They have not changed. They are not consistent. They make good only at the beginning." I felt the bitterness in Kath's dialogue. "I know what you're thinking, huh? I am not bitter." She rolled her eyes at me then. "You're bitter about the part where you generalize that men are good at first. Maybe not all, mars," I defended. Of course, I have a husband, and I want to defend that Mike is different from cheating men. "If I were you... you'd go and find yourself a boyfriend! In that way, you stopped yourself being bitter in someone's relationship!" I teased her. "First of all, I'm not bitter. I'm not jealous if I'm the only unmarried doctor in the hospital. If all of you have your own family, and I'm the only one who doesn't, I don't care! I still won't change my view of the men in the world who, after promising so many things in their marriage with his wife, will still dare to cheat and womanize!" "So, look at Meann? Isn't what happened to him pitiful, Andeng? If we who know Herbert didn't think he would cheat on Meann, what more to his wife?" Kath is still not giving up on her argument. "So don't be too complacent about your husband, mars. Your husband cried at your wedding, didn't he? Herbert also cried at his wedding with Meann. Do you see the sign-" "You're not funny if you're joking!" "I'm not kidding." She put her arm around me and led me to the window of the second floor. Kath was pointing something at me down the window. "It's Mike, isn't it?" My eyes narrowed as I watched the man's face carefully. He was wearing a cap so I couldn't see his face properly, but if we talk about body shape, he looked like my husband. He was carrying a bag—that shoulder bag that was small and just right for a woman. He was handing it to the car door, but suddenly Mike backed away when the car opened, and a woman came out of the door. She approached Mike and quickly kissed him before she went inside again with a smile—and from here I could see the woman's face—because I can't make a mistake about that woman who came here to the clinic and cried when she found out she was pregnant... And now I find out that she was my husband's mistress. Until now, I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing. Earlier, I felt very sad for the woman who showed herself as my patient after finding out that it is clearly confirmed that she is positive in pregnancy. I sympathize with her. I almost thought I know the struggle she's been facing for being afraid of telling her parents about how complex her situation is now... only to find out that young lady is Mike's mistress?!

第5章

My heart seemed to be beating faster as I looked out the window. So much pain in the eyes… and so much pain in the heart I have feeling right now. I wanted to convince myself that I was only dreaming. I hope that everything I see with my eyes is not true. That man can't be Mike! "Mamsh, are you okay?" I heard Kath’s voice talking to me. She had her arms around me and was patting my shoulder, moving my body away from the window. “I know you're having a hard time processing everything right now. Because even myself, literally I was surprised by what I saw, and I know you… I know it’s more painful for you." I shook my head and walked away from Kath. The tears welling up in my eyes, I quickly wiped them away, I made sure to face my friend with a smile on my face. "My eyes saw that the woman kissed Mike. But only on the cheek. Maybe they are just friends. Maybe that doesn't mean anything, right?" What I'm saying is stupid. I'm aware of that. If what I'm doing now is called stupidity at its finest, I don't care. It's true that the girl kissed Mike's cheek earlier, so maybe that doesn't mean anything. Maybe there is no malice. I hope that... even if these thoughts are just my imagination, they will become reality. "Are you really... able to think of such a thing behind what your eyes saw earlier, Andeng?" Kath's face looked at me unbelievably it while questioning me... like even my friend thinks I’m so stupid. I immediately looked away from her. "I shouldn't just look from one angle, right? Because... yes, from the angle I saw earlier... I can’t imagine that… that woman is really my husband's mistress. But when I try to find things further... maybe... is there another reason why that woman kissed my husband? I can't immediately attribute malice to what I saw when in fact it doesn't really have any other meaning? I don't want to judge people right away." I really fought hard to defend Mike with my friend. Just by Kath's appearance, I knew she wanted to suspect that the woman we saw earlier was my husband's mistress. Add to it, Kath still doesn't know that the woman we saw together is the same person who became my patient just now—who is pregnant. And the same shade of lipstick she used is the same shade of lipstick I saw on Mike's pants the other day- I don't really know what to think. The details are too jumbled in my brain. "I hope you made the right decision to let yourself know the whole truth first. Because if the angle you saw earlier is not really enough, I hope you find an angle that will prove that that woman is not your husband's other woman." Kath patted my shoulder before she left me in the area. Even I, myself, am not sure what I'm doing. As for the things I think about, my head is hurting too much from mixed suspicions and thinking about things to defend my husband from what my brain is trying to prove. Those arguments keep popping into my head, but I keep ignoring it because I don’t want to believe it. I’m just not… so prepared for that. Because that girl is too young for my husband, or that girl for my husband... which obviously has a big age gap between them. "It's absolutely impossible for Mike to love someone younger than him." — I was eating in the hospital’s cafeteria by myself. Kath and I will not eat together since she will have duty in the Operating Room. Instead of waiting for the surgery to be done there, I went first. It’s just that I am so hungry today that I couldn’t let myself starve for too long. And for my meal today, I have no other choices but to order a Sulit Meal here at the cafeteria; on a plate there is a burger that’s full of not so tasteful bun in the first bite, then there is also spaghetti that is sparingly in sauce, in the ingredients and the cheese, and lastly there are french fries that are limper than to a sick person. Well, if I really had company I wouldn't be here to have lunch at the cafeteria. When Kath and I eat together, we go out and look for a restaurant that is close to here to eat. Who else would handle the food here though? "Looks like you've had that meal for a week, huh?" Just a while ago I was sitting at my table staring at my food so that I would have the desire to eat it... but suddenly someone occupied the seat across from me. So, I raised my head to see who was sitting. “Hey, Morgan? Why are you here? It’s been nice to see you again!” He's been my friend since college. We were a trio back then with Kath, but Morgan parted ways from us when he decided to go abroad and work there. It’s just so sad that after finishing our years in college, I didn’t anticipate there will come a time the strong friendship we built during that time will have to face some… we call a massive breaking apart. "My grandmother was confined here because of a heart attack. I just visited.” He dropped the large plastic bag he was holding on the table and began to take out its contents. "And of course so that I can provide you and Kath a meal for today. Have you forgotten we had a deal back then? When I finally come back here in the Philippines, I’m going to treat both of you to your favorite meals,” he giggled as he said. Morgan knows exactly how ticklish Kath and I are; Korean foods of course. Gimbap, kimchi, cooked fried noodles, rice cake, and he also has tacos, lasagna, nachos, spaghetti and pizza. These are the foods that I really crave to eat, unfortunately they are not available in the hospital’s cafeteria. “I’ve known you for so long, Andrea. And I definitely know when you’re starting to lose appetite, food is something that you almost consume for a week.” His continuous laugh is so painful in the ears. I was so hungry, I started gobbling up Morgan's food, I kind of forgot to thank him before I ate it all. As I mentioned earlier, my stomach really needs food to digest as soon as possible. I can’t wait any longer. "Thank you," even though my mouth was falling open, I spoke. "Don't speak when your mouth is full." Laughing, he took a tissue and came slightly closer to me to wipe the corner of my lips. "I always remind you in college that you don't need to thank me, right? As long as I can see that the food I bought is delicious, that's okay with me. And as well as I could see in your eyes that you’re enjoying the food I gave to you, I’m satisfied with that." I quickly chewed what was in my mouth and swallowed, and then I started talking while giggling. "You’re speaking like you really thought you were the one cooking the foods you gave to Kath and me before. While it's all from fast food!" "But I made an effort. I'm still the one who bought it, and it's my money that's being spent," he boastfully implied to me. And because Morgan entertains me during my lunch time, at least now I can laugh again—at least somehow. "You won’t be safe to me, or perhaps your secret behind the sadness in your eyes. Since I arrived, I've been noticing it for a while. Do you have a problem?" he said suddenly, which I fully thought he wouldn't notice that he saw me in trouble here today. "Just don't tell me that your problem is about your love life, huh? You already know the answer to that." "What?" "Just backread our conversation on June 23, 2017. All the advice you need, I already told you there." I rolled my eyes at him when he suddenly laughed at me. There is nothing so funny about my situation. "You're sulking again. I'm going to make it up again with my crush who has friendzoned me before." To this day, Morgan is still laughing when he pulls his chair next to me. I stopped eating when he put his arm around me and patted me on the shoulder. "Of course, as a man who loved you before, it hurts me to know that the woman I valued so much until now, will only be hurt by her husband. Because it's like slapping me in the face, Andrea, that... I made the wrong decision to leave you to your husband now if he's going to hurt you too." "Because, to tell you honestly... I loved you so much that day... that I couldn't bear sleeping every night without regretting letting you go. But I chose to let you go and leave you to Mike... because you love each other. Who am I to stop you from being happy, right? Of course, wherever or with whom you are happy, I will be happier, too. For you..." I moved away from the contact of my body with his, and I faced Morgan… without realizing that I was in tears. “I really love my husband, Morgan. So I can't bear it if we just break up-” "So, you and Mike have a problem?" I was trapped by my words, so I nodded in response. "As long as you can solve it, you will overcome it. As long as the problem is not too big, talk about it. I don't want to see you hurt because of your relationship with Mike. That hurts more for me, Andrea." I couldn't do anything but hug him. And there is no malice since Morgan and I are just friends. I can't even bear to tell him that I suspect that my husband has a woman. I know him, he will react once he knows that leaving me to a man who can't keep all the promises he made to me when we got married might lead to nothing.

第6章

"Have you met your ex at the hospital earlier?" When I got into the house and while I was taking off my shoes, I didn't immediately notice that Mike was in a long chair while he was drinking wine alone there. Most of the time I go home before him since he often stays up late at school due to his heavy workloads that includes checking the papers of tons of his students. “Is it Morgan?” I laughed in response. Mike still thinks that Morgan has been my ex-boyfriend. "Morgan is just my friend. It must have been a coincidence that we met earlier at the hospital since he was visiting his grandmother. He said his grandmother had a heart attack." "He's in another country, isn't he?" Mike is still not making eye contact with me. His eyes were fixed on the glass of wine. "Will he go back there again? How long will he stay here in the Philippines?" "I haven’t asked about that to him-" "You talked for almost an hour earlier in the cafeteria, you didn't even ask him about that? Why? What did you two talk about?" Now his eyes challenge me to listen to him and tell the truth. "I'm your husband, so I'm just curious. Is he getting back with you? Is he trying to court you again?!” "What are you talking about, Mike?!" I could no longer control my voice to raise because of my annoyance at my husband. I wish Gian was watching a movie in his room so he wouldn't hear us here. "I hope you still hear what you are saying now. Because I don't know how long I have to repeat to you that Morgan and I haven't had anything since then, and it's even more impossible to have now!" I said loudly. My tears are only superficial so just a little ache to my heart and I feel I will be emotional. Because I can't handle Mike doubting me. Of all people, I'm really the one he suspects is the one to potentially have an affair? "I will ask you now." I grabbed the glass from his hand, knowing that he was about to drink it. Just to gain his attention, no alcohol first. "Who is that woman? What is your relationship with her?” “Who?” His eyebrows met as he asked. "You're going to make up a story about me to make me look bad? Andrea, do you want us to have another fight-” “I'm not making up a story. This is not an excuse I made to make you let slip your doubt about me, Mike. Because my eyes can clearly see from the second floor of the hospital that you have a woman, with a younger face than mine, and you even take her inside her car. She even kissed you on the cheek, didn't she?" I caught his eyes trying to move away from me. "Who's that, Mike?" "What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about, Andrea. Why do you have to always think I’m seeing another woman? I think your mind is just creating an imaginary scene just to prove that I'm becoming a womanizer even though I'm not, huh!" "I know that girl. And I'm sure that what I saw earlier was not just my imagination, Mike," I said with emphasis. "That girl became my patient earlier. She was very scared. You know why?" He didn't speak. He just picked up the glass that was on the table again and filled it with wine, he made sure to guzzle it straight down. “She was afraid to find out that she was pregnant. Because what scares the girl even more is that she doesn't want her parents to know that she got pregnant by a man who already has a family." I told Kath earlier that I want to believe what I stand for, that maybe what I saw was not malicious and I want to hear Mike first how he will defend himself to me. But in the scene that is happening now, he is proving to me even more that my suspicions are correct. That my decision now is to keep doubting him. Because he couldn't even look me in the eyes. He had been staring at me for a while. Whenever I questioned him about that girl, his only answer was that I was making up a story. That I was making excuses for us to fight and I felt bad for him. "That's why you immediately thought it was me-" "That's not the only reason I'm looking at, Mike! Are we just going to be here again and again?” My voice was shaking because it was as if he was having a hard time understanding my point. "Let's say I didn't see you with that girl and I didn’t see she even kissed you on the cheek, I wouldn't doubt that there might be something between you two. But I saw it with my two eyes, Mike! I saw you! So, the foundation of my doubt is even stronger because I don't know why you two met? How? What is your relationship with her? Or maybe you are also the father of the child, right?" My cheeks are full of tears. I can't accept if even tonight Mike admits to me that all my suspicions about him are true. I feel like... I can't handle it. I might collapse. “Andeng-” "Are my doubts about you all true?" I slapped his hands away from me when he tried to touch me. "Because if everything is true... it's probably good that we both get a divorce." No more fluff, I need to get straight to the point as much as possible. I know it's not the first time I've challenged Mike to break up, but this time… I really can't. I don't want our relationship to remain as husband and wife while he has a baby that he is responsible for with another woman. I never dreamt of having a family and being married just to let myself suffer because my husband is having an affair. "Tell me you're not serious about this, Andrea." "Why not?" Furious with anger, I glared at Mike. "You don't know but I've been tired of our relationship for a long time. I never dreamed of getting married just to make myself doubt whether you have a woman or not. I don't deserve this, Mike… because all along, I was honest with you!” I violently wiped away another batch of tears that fell. "So, I don't want to continue this anymore. I can't give another chance. Let’s end our marriage here, Mike.”

第7章

"I hope you will change your mind soon, Andrea. Because you know I won't agree to your challenge to divorce me, so I'm giving you enough time to think." He dropped the glass on the table hard, making my body jump in shock. "And when your decision is complete, be sure to talk to me again about this matter. Because if you're sure that you're really going to end the marriage with me, we'll fight for custody for Gian next." Mike went up to the second floor while I was left in the living room with my body still shaking. I don't know if it's because of the weather tonight, or maybe it's because my emotions are mixed with nervousness... because in fact, I didn't expect myself to end up challenging Mike to have our divorce… for the second time around. I was, perhaps, so impulsive earlier. "Your loud exchanging voices with Papa reached my room, ma..." Gian sat next to me and hugged my waist. "I'm clueless about what you and Papa are fighting about, but hopefully it will be fixed soon." "Of course." I swallowed all the sadness I felt, just to make sure when I faced my son, he wouldn't see his mother dealing with a huge relationship problem. "Son, whatever you heard earlier... just... don't think about it. Don't bother asking me why we're fighting earlier. It is normal for those in a relationship to have disagreements, okay? That's part of life, and... let's say a struggle for us that we have to overcome together to enable our relationship, at the same time, be stronger." "But you and Papa aren't going to break up, are you?" I was left smiling, but I didn't immediately respond. How can I answer Gian's question, and even I can't assure myself how long Mike and I's marriage will be valid. "Nothing like that will happen, okay? And even so, one thing I can assure you... your dad and I will stay by your side. You were born with your father and I, and I can assure you that until you get married, your father and I... we will attend the wedding of our only son together." I gently leaned Gian's head on my shoulder so that at least when the tears flowed from my eyes, he wouldn’t see it. "Wherever or from whomever you hear those things, don't listen, okay? Focus on yourself and on our family. Everything else is just a noise.” If I really need to tell lies, I'll do it. As long as I can hide the problems I'm facing from Gian, I will. As much as possible, I don't want Gian to absorb the weight and stress that is happening in his family... to the point that he can no longer focus on his studies. He must be out of our fight with his father. — "I know, Jazz..." I heaved a long sigh as soon as I arrived at the meeting place where I met Jazz, my new friend since this year. "It's because of the photo you showed me, the face is different from the woman I saw kissing Mike's cheek the same day that woman I gave me a check-up to." Suddenly, our conversation paused because the waiter came to ask for our order. I had pancakes and a chocolate latte, and Jazz told the waiter about hers. "What if your husband doesn't have only one mistress? What if there are many?” I called all the saints I know after Jazz telling her suspicions. My gosh, I hope her suspicions were wrong. Letting myself think that my husband has another woman makes me paranoid already. How massive stress can he give me if it is true he has many mistresses?! Will he do more than one? "You think that's why the face you saw is different from the one I saw, does that mean they are two?" "It's not unlikely to be three or four." I whispered many profanities in my mind. Because I'm still thinking that what if Jasmin's suspicions about my husband are true, I feel like I just want to give up or let my world crumble. I'm losing the strength to fight. I feel that I have no reason not to pursue my divorce with Mike if I can prove that he has many affairs. Fvck. "All of those, of course, were all pure suspicions. We still don't have solid evidence to point to two or three women being played by your husband. What you can do now is to be an observer.” Our ordered foods have also arrived, and I immediately took the choco latte to drink. Although it was hot, it was just plain water for me. "This would be a different flavor I would dare to taste. I hope I get out of here alive, Jazz.” I just poured the coffee into the void while I spent twenty minutes before heading to the hospital. I left the house early earlier because I thought of bothering Jazz to see me today due to a lot of questions my mind has been trying to find answers to since yesterday. "I immediately apologize to you if we started getting close the day I sent you a stolen pic of your husband with a girl. I feel like... I’m becoming someone who’s trying to mind your business," Jasmin bit her lips as she spluttered. "But I appreciate your effort in reaching me out and sending those pictures. Without your initiation, maybe until now I would remain a fool and blindly believe that I still don’t have any idea that my husband is cheating on me." I showed her how my smile becomes bitter. Like I mentioned earlier, Jazz is my new friend. We met on the internet, and the main reason why we became close is because she's the one that gave me reasons to doubt my husband. She also provided me with some proof. Those pictures. If not because of her efforts, probably my innocent mind is still closed to receiving the truth. "Let's just hope that... we're wrong." Jazz reached for my hand and made sure to smile at me. "Your eyes show that you love your husband very much. So, I really hope our suspicions turn out to be wrong.” — I was about to enter the elevator when I bumped into a woman, who seemed to be ahead of me as I entered. The black jacket that had been hanging on her shoulders fell off. So, I bent down to pick it up and handed it to the woman- "Thank you-" When she saw my face, she smiled at me. "Oh, it’s you, Doc Andrea." I watched her enter the elevator and I followed. We are the only two people; while she was adjusting the hanging of the jacket on her shoulder. “What a nice jacket.” "Yes, doc. My boyfriend gave it to me.” Hearing her answer made my temper grow higher and the bitterness in my face got overloaded. Because now... it looks like I know the real reason why the jacket I gave to my husband as a birthday present is missing from Mike's drawer. "Have you already told him about your condition?" "Uh… not yet, doc." I faced her. "What are your plans, Miss?" "Eloise." "So, Eloise... What are your plans? You will forever hide from him about your baby with him?" I tried my very best not to sound like I was interfering in both of their lives. "Or if you're planning something else, I hope it's not a crime on your mind." "That's the reason why I'm preparing my passport." She immediately looks away from me. "Because in the States, it's not illegal for me to do this.

第8章

When we got out of the elevator, I immediately pulled Eloise into my clinic. Although I know that I’m not the one she’s actually meeting with as to why she’s in the hospital, I think I have to spend my little time for her… to at least stop her from doing her plan recklessly. "I hope you think carefully about what you are going to do. Remember that even if the child is still inside your womb, it still has a life, Eloise. What you are attempting to do is killing the baby inside your womb. Do you want to feel guilty? You will commit a great sin against God," I said firmly. Eloise gave up staring at me and sat down at the available seat in front of my table. She lowered her hands and covered her face. "What else is left for me to do? Instead of aborting the baby?” "There are many ways available-" "Well, I don't see any way, Doc." She faced me, she looked up at me because I was still standing in front of her. "I don't know. There is no more convenient way available for me than abortion, Doc Andrea. So, will I still be afraid if I made a sin against God? I did commit fornication, and I clearly violated one of God's ten commandments. After all, I have already sinned against Him, why should I be afraid now?" Eloise started crying inside my clinic. The interior is sound-proof, so I'm sure that no one will hear the conversation we’re having and her crying from the people outside. So, I immediately approached Eloise and pulled up a chair, rubbing her back at the same time. "Don't solve your problem by committing another mistake. As I told you earlier, I believe there is a better way available instead of killing the baby.” I was still rubbing his back when she looked up at me again. "And as for me, the best option for you is to let the father of the baby know that you're pregnant." "Didn't you understand what I told you last time, Doc-" "I understand, of course." I smiled to hide the bitterness on my face. In fact, I'm really not sure if I'm really going to continue this. “But your parents won't know you're in a relationship until you admit it to them or you won't let your parents do a background check on the baby's father, right?" Even if stupidity is what I'm doing, fine… I'll accept it. First of all, I'm not even sure that Mike is really the father of Eloise's baby. But if Mike happens by chance, for sure I won't be able to forgive him. And most importantly, I can't promise him that once my suspicions are true, our relationship and family will still be intact. The reason why I'm doing this is because I am a professional doctor. I intend to persuade my patient not to harm themselves or make a reckless decision like what Eloise is planning for her baby. My profession intends to save lives… and I am in the medical team now not to encourage my patients to kill, especially an innocent child. "Why are you doing this?" When Eloise settled down from her crying earlier, her voice cracked when she asked me. "You, yourself, told me before that you have your family; that you have a husband and child. You know the pain when your husband has been seeing someone; another woman without letting you know.” “I... as a mistress.. what I expect from you is that you will let me have an abortion so that no one will chase me or I will lose my connection with the man who impregnated me. But that's not what you did, Doc. Why?” I avoided her eyes that were starting to brim with tears again. I even laughed in my mind because I thought I was the woman with the shallowest tears and crying... but I think I’m not. There’s Eloise who’s more of a crying baby than me... now I realize that. "Because I believe that instead of risking the baby, there is a better way to solve your problem. Just open your mind. Abortion is not always the answer, unless you have a deeper reason for not wanting to carry the child.” I looked at her again but she avoided me. "Is there?" "Maybe because he won't accept it." A bitter smile drew on her lips. "I mentioned this before to you, Doc. Apart from my parents, I was also worried that the father of this child might not choose me. He might still choose his family over us. That's what scares me. Maybe he just won't hold me accountable." "What's the point of letting me live and raise this baby of mine if he's just going to live without a father?" she said and another episode of Eloise's crying happened again at my clinic. It's almost time for me to open the clinic, so I can receive patients today. I just can't do it because Eloise is still inside, and I don't even know how to calm her down. Why did I bother to offer her help anyway? I do not know either. — "Okay, I'm going to pick you up later. Bye, son!” I put my phone down after talking to Gian. All of a sudden, that son of mine asked us to eat outside, so I gave in. He said that his father could not accommodate us since Mike is still in school right now, he said that he has to finish some paperwork before he flies to Cebu tomorrow to attend a Mathematics-related seminar there. "Is your husband's mistress your friend now, mamsh?" In the middle, when I didn't have a patient yet, since I asked for a thirty minute break to breathe and drink at least, Kath entered my clinic without my permission. "We're not even sure if she's the mistress," I answered indifferently to Kath while I was busy watching random videos on my phone. "What if she is? Are you still going to be nice to that girl?” I paused the video. I looked at Kath and grinned. "If she really is Mike's mistress, what's so wrong if I befriend her-" "Are you insane-" "No, Kath." The smile on my lips grew wider. "I just have to keep myself closer to the enemy... so, in that way... the opening is bigger for me to destroy her life."

第9章

"On my birthday, ma... I hope we go out again," Gian said when he suddenly stopped eating. "I hope that when that day comes, Papa will be with us to eat outside." I suddenly slowed down my chewing and swallowed slowly. Gian can't help but always look for his dad whenever he's not around. Gian, my boy, has been used to having both of his parents with him all the time. Mike is always with us on important occasions that would happen in Gian’s life such as Gian's birthday, his graduation when he was in elementary school, recognition days, etc. So I understand if my son is starting to feel a new atmosphere now. Mike has been sneaking in more and more often that he is taking care of a lot of things at school right now so he didn't come with us tonight. Meanwhile, he can always find some time and ways before to manage his workloads after having piled up of paperworks on his job. "Instead of having a party, do you want to eat out?" He laughed at my question. "Mom, birthday parties are only for children. I’m not a kid anymore." "Are you old?" I rode on my son's trip. "Teenager, ma," he replied seriously. "This son of yours is such a grown man... so now I want something different every time my birthday comes around. No more lavish birthday parties, otherwise... even if I can just eat out with you and Papa, that's enough for me." Gian smiled at me before he continued eating. I can't say he's sad because I'm the only one with him today, and it's evident from the smile I see on his lips that even though I'm the only one with him today, I think he's happy and enjoying the food. But I know that Gian would have been twice as happy if Mike had just given him at least little of his time to join us here. "Gian?" I called his attention. He quickly turned to me. "Son, do you think your father and I will divorced?" He dropped the two cutlery he was holding. "Is there a reason for the two of you to separate?" For a moment, I remained silent. Gian and I only kept our eyes on each other, and hopefully he can't read in my eyes that my relationship with his father is going through a big problem right now. "Just in case something happens, and it's inevitable for a couple to separate... especially married couples... and if that happens, Gian... who will you go with?" I know it's not the right time to ask him such a difficult question to answer. If I spoil the fun that Gian had earlier, I'll just make it up to him in the next few days. I just couldn't help myself but to ask the question to him right away. "Unless the problem that a couple is going through is heavy, only then will the divorce be valid." Gian's answer to my question was too far. "This is from my adviser last year, in which she told us that in the relationship between husband and wife, not everything should have ended in divorce. There are specific reasons why they end up breaking up, but that doesn't mean that for all their problems, the solution has to be ending the marriage." I really want to tell and try to make Gian understand the situation, but I can't. I remember that he was too young for me to let him be involved with Mike and I's problems. I will not let even my son suffer from the nonsense his father is doing. "But to answer your question, ma..." I stopped cutting the steak on my plate when Gian spoke again. “If I had to choose which of you two to go with… I wouldn't choose.” "Because?" "I love you both, ma. I can't live in a house with only one of you living with me. I can't seem to wake up in the morning with only one of my parents sharing the same roof with me." The mixture of his smile became bleak, and Gian immediately avoided looking at me. "Because if the day comes when one of you has to leave me, hopefully you will realize that when a flower is lost from its tree... it'll wither." After that, we continued eating. Our conversation no longer continued because I didn't know what else to say. I think I got the answer I asked Gian for. — "Are you leaving early tomorrow?" I opened up to Mike when I caught him in our room already packing the things he would need for his trip to Cebu. "Yeah. To get to the venue early. I hope we can land there immediately before afternoon." He just continued packing his clothes. "You take care of Gian first, huh? I was only there for three days, Andeng." He raised his face to look at me. "So, please take good care of our son." "That's my responsibility. You don't need to remind me." I head to the other side of the bed and lean against the standing pillow. “Do you, Mike… know your responsibilities?” "Of course-" "Then can you explain to me what you were doing in a hotel last night with Eloise?" His eyes widened as he looked. “Eloise-” "Don't deny it. I told you that woman is my patient. I probably know her, and the strange thing is… how many times have you denied to me that you don't know her, but why have I seen you with her twice?” I showed the picture that Jazz sent me when she saw my husband last night checking into a hotel with Eloise. I was only able to show it to Mike today because I really wanted it to coincide with the day of his departure... hopefully to stop him. "You're just giving yourself a reason to be jealous-" “Would it be better if it weren't true, Mike? Isn't it true?” I was the one who started this fight first, but now I’m becoming so emotional that I'm going to start crying at any moment. "You can't even give me a sensible reason for why you can’t name Eloise as someone aside from your mistress! You kept avoiding my questions! You're the only one who gives me a reason to believe that you're really having an affair!" I was surprised and even gasped when Mike let go of the clothes he was holding. He came to me and shook my body. "Wake up from your imaginations, Andeng! You are the only one who will destroy our relationship if you continue your doubts." “Because Eloise, yes… I know her,” he admitted to me. "Carlo's girlfriend... my friend."