The Ex Who Crawled Back Too Late

I’m six years older than my puppy-like boyfriend. When he confessed, he said, “I like you best, Claire!” But after his career took off, he found himself a girl six years younger than him. Later, when a man a hundred times better than him stood by my side, he begged me, “Please. Let me come back to you.” I said, “Then crawl back like a dog.” Today, after spending ages choosing a ring, I was finally ready to propose to my boyfriend of six years. I had been waiting for this day for a long time. Ethan had promised that the day his career succeeded would be the day we got engaged. That day had finally come. The brand he founded had officially launched, and after countless rounds of refinement, it had received an overwhelming response right out of the gate. I couldn’t wait to marry him. ［Ethan, when are you coming home today?］ I sent the message nervously. The room was decorated exactly as I had planned. Rose petals covered the floor. I had spent three months researching the perfect candlelit dinner. And I had prepared one more gift—twenty percent of my company’s shares. Once we got engaged, I planned to give them all to Ethan. My phone remained silent for a long time. Ethan didn’t come home until midnight. The first thing he said when he saw the decorations was, “Why did you turn the room into this?” “I wanted to celebrate your brand’s successful launch.” “That’s enough! Claire, how old are you? You’re already thirty, and you’re still doing this childish, over-the-top stuff? Do you have any idea how much trouble it’ll be to clean this up? You’re not at the age where you should be chasing romance anymore.” The Ethan standing in front of me felt like a stranger. He used to surprise me again and again with little cakes and cute hair clips. He treated me like a spoiled little girl. He used to tell me, “Claire, whether you’re thirty, forty, or eighty, you’ll always be my little girl.” I once asked him what would happen if people said I was too old to act young. He had answered, “Then don’t listen to them. My Claire will always be young.” But now he called me childish. He complained that I had gone too far. As I watched him rant, I quietly hid the ring I had never managed to give him and restored the room to its original state. The difference between being loved and being unloved was truly enormous. The next morning, Ethan left early, leaving me with only one sentence. “Don’t do anything like that again. I was exhausted last night.” I didn’t say a word. I packed up every piece of Ethan’s clothing and threw it outside the door. At that exact same time the day before, I had received a message from Ryan. ［Claire, isn’t this Ethan? ［Photo］］ The photo showed Ethan holding out a bouquet of roses to a young girl who looked barely eighteen. The last time I had asked Ethan why he hadn’t brought me flowers in so long, he had said, “You’re not young anymore. Maybe you should stop wanting the things little girls like.” Now that I thought about it, the truth was obvious. He hadn’t stopped bringing me flowers because I was too old for them. He simply didn’t want to give them to me anymore. He wanted to give them to a younger girl. An eighteen-year-old girl was nothing like me. I already had faint wrinkles and traces of time on my face. Her smile was sweet, and standing beside Ethan, they looked perfectly matched. Ryan’s message pulled me back to reality. ［How could Ethan do this? If I were him, I’d treasure you properly, Claire.］ I enlarged the photo again and again. Ethan’s smile stabbed at my eyes. So he hadn’t stopped loving me because I was childish. He had simply decided to give his love and protection to someone else. All the sweetness of the past dissolved into nothing.After throwing Ethan’s belongings outside, I sat in my room with a glass of red wine and finally broke down crying. Six years of love weren’t something I could simply let go of. The first time I met Ethan was when I returned to my alma mater to give a speech as an outstanding graduate. After the speech, he stopped me. With all the awkward innocence of a college freshman, he nervously opened the door to our first meeting. “Hey, you’re amazing. Could I get your contact information? Don’t worry, I won’t bother you.” Ethan was wearing a white T-shirt, and his smile was bright enough to light up the room. I smiled. “Of course. If you ever need help, just let me know.” After that day, Ethan shared little things about school with me every day. He always had questions, but he was afraid of bothering me, so he was unfailingly polite. I was happy to help someone using what I had learned from my own success. I passed on all my experience to him. Eventually, we became friends. I had been too busy working to think about relationships, and Ethan’s persistent affection slowly began to win me over. His love came at me without hesitation, rushing straight into my heart. “I really like you,” he told me. “But I know it’s probably just wishful thinking. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. Just pretend I never said anything.” Because I was worried about the age difference and the reality of our situation, I rejected him. But as time passed, our feelings grew stronger. Ethan confessed his love again and again, and eventually, I could no longer hold back my own feelings. I said yes. I still remembered how excited he had been that day. He had nearly jumped for joy. “I’ll always love you.” With him, I could forget my age and become a happy child. He accepted every childish part of me and brought me back to eighteen. Now, all of it had become a dream. The doorbell rang, interrupting my thoughts. “Claire, how did you end up drinking this much?” Ryan looked at me with concern. “Was Ethan really that great?” “He used to treat me well.” “And now? Ethan changed a long time ago. You know that. For the past two years, where was he when you were sad? Where was he when you were sick? He wasn’t there. His love for you has been disappearing for the last three years.” “Claire, I was the one who stayed by your side.” Ryan’s eyes reflected my face so clearly. It was something I had never seen in Ethan’s eyes. “A younger guy calling you ‘Claire’? You’re pretty bold.” Ryan grinned. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how I feel about you. We’re both adults. Do you really not understand what I want?” Ryan was incredibly handsome. In fact, he was exactly my type. “Are you staring because you’re fascinated?” he teased. “Well? I’m younger and better-looking. Compared to Ethan, I’m obviously a hundred times better.” He leaned closer. “Why don’t you give me a chance, Claire?”“Okay.” I wasn’t sure whether it was the alcohol or the charged atmosphere. Looking at Ryan’s handsome face, I grabbed him by the collar and kissed him as if I had lost my mind. His lips were soft, almost like jelly, and I couldn’t help wanting more. But when I tried to kiss him again, he moved away. Holding my chin, he asked me repeatedly, “Claire, look carefully. Do you know who I am?” “You’re… Ryan.” Only after hearing my answer did Ryan cradle the back of my head and kiss me. His kiss was tentative yet excited, fierce yet gentle. The door lock clicked shut. Ryan guided me backward until I fell onto the soft bed, as though I were floating through the air. Our lips and tongues met, and the faint taste of mint filled my senses. “You know, I always carried mints with me because I used to fantasize about kissing you one day. I wanted to give you an unforgettable memory. Am I the only guy whose kiss tastes like mint? One of a kind, right?” “Yes, yes. You’re the most special.” I couldn’t hear anything else. All I could think about was how soft his lips were and how good he felt to kiss. “You talk too much.” A few kisses were no longer enough. I reached for the buttons of his shirt. “Claire, are you sure?” Ryan caught my hand. Annoyed, I tried to pull free. “Ryan, why are you taking so long? Can you do this or not? If you can’t, just say so. You’re wasting my time.” “Damn it, Claire. You’re forcing me.” Ryan seemed to lose his patience. He pressed me down with surprising strength. “What?” Before I could react, he pinned my hands above my head. A tingling sensation spread through my body. “So? Can I do it or not?” He kept asking me that question throughout the night, until I no longer had the energy to answer. When I woke up, I wanted to slap myself. Of all the things I could have done, why had I chosen to provoke Ryan? The next morning, I woke with a pounding headache and heard an argument downstairs. “Ryan, why are you here?” “Why can’t I be here?” “Claire is my girlfriend. You have no right to be here.” “Your girlfriend? Sorry, but she’s mine now.” “Ryan, are you insane? You show up in my girlfriend’s bedroom first thing in the morning and claim she’s yours?” Listening to them, I slowly became more clearheaded. I went downstairs and slipped my arm through Ryan’s. “Ethan, I already told you yesterday. We’re over.” “As for Ryan, he’s my boyfriend now. Of course he can be here.” “That doesn’t count! I never agreed to it.” “I was informing you. I wasn’t asking for permission.” Ethan lunged forward and tried to grab my wrist, but Ryan knocked his hand away. “Stay away from my girlfriend.” “Are you disgusting? Claire and I haven’t even broken up, and you’re already moving in. Do you enjoy being the other man?” “You should be saying that to yourself.” Ethan hadn’t come home the previous night. He had probably gone to be with his little girlfriend. He hadn’t even replied to my breakup message. It made sense that he would lose his mind when he saw the message and his luggage outside the door the next morning. I opened my phone and enlarged the intimate photos of Ethan and his young girlfriend in front of him. “Ethan, look carefully. Do you know who’s in these pictures? Don’t push your luck.” The photo showed him kissing the girl. As expected, Ethan’s face grew paler and paler. “Claire, let me explain.” “There’s no need. The truth is right there, and we’re already over.” Ethan’s cheating was a fact. My heart had already gone numb. Disappointment was something that built up over time. Ryan quietly tightened his grip on my hand, giving me strength. “Claire, even if I did cheat first, what about you? You threw my luggage outside without saying a word, and the next morning you were already with Ryan. Who knows what you two did? Maybe you’re just trying to make me look guilty.” Hearing Ethan’s shameless accusation, I questioned my own judgment for the first time.