第1章
I married George far away. His parents didn't allow me to return to my parents' home for Christmas reunions, so I hadn't returned for five years.
This year, my brother, Paul, was getting married, and the wedding was a week after Christmas.
After discussing with George, we planned to go back on Christmas Day and attend Paul's wedding. We decided to return before the Christmas holiday ended.
I told George's mother, Karen, about my plans a few days in advance. She neither agreed nor disagreed.
I thought it a matter of course to return home for Christmas to reunite with family, and Karen would have no reason to stop me.
So, I bought the train tickets early, just waiting for Christmas Day.
The day finally came. I got up very early today. I had been looking forward to this day for a long time.
It had been a long time since my last return, and with my daughter, Mia, in school, I rarely had the chance to go back.
I packed my luggage early in the morning.
Before I went downstairs, my mom called to say she had prepared my room, washed and aired the bedding, and Paul and his fiancée had bought lots of new clothes for Mia. They were eagerly awaiting our return.
I was eager to go home with Mia and George.
But when we got downstairs, Karen blocked the door.
"Karen, we're leaving. We'll be back in a few days," I said, placing my suitcase in front of her.
She didn't move, just glancing at my luggage.
I felt something was wrong and signaled George with my eyes.
"Mom, let us pass. If we're late, we'll miss the train," George said.
"The train? What do you mean?" Karen looked around, feigning ignorance.
"Karen, we're going to catch the train. I want to go back for Christmas with my family."
Karen kicked my suitcase, sending it flying away.
"Going back? Did I say you could go? It's so far, and it costs thousands for the round-trip tickets for three people. I think you have too much money to burn, afraid it won't run out, right?"
I didn't expect Karen to say that.
I had told her I was going home, and I thought it a matter of course to get together with family at Christmas.
I had listened to them for years and hadn't gone back. I didn't understand why she still stopped me this time.
"Mom, Selena hasn't been home in a long time. Let us go," George continued to persuade Karen.
He was a good man, honest, and had a good temper, but because of that, he seemed to be a little weak sometimes.
For example, now, his words in front of his mother were useless, and Karen was still blocking the door.
"Karen, what do you mean?" I was a little angry.
"I don't mean anything. You just can't go back today."
"Why?"
I couldn't accept it. People from all over the country were going back today, so why couldn't I?
With her arms crossed, she looked at me arrogantly. "Because my two daughters are coming back with their husbands and children today. I can't cook for a dozen people, so you have to stay and entertain them."
Huh! Ridiculous!
I was so angry that I almost laughed. So she didn't let me go home just to let me stay and entertain her two daughters and their families who were coming home.
How perfect her plans were!
But why should I listen to her?
I took Mia's hand, walked up to her, and said angrily, "Get out of the way."
She still didn't show any sign of giving in. "You can't go today. Selena, are you deliberately opposing me? You know my daughters will come back with their families every year today, and Christmas is the best day for our family to get together, but you still insist on going back today, even with my son and granddaughter."
第2章
"You're deliberately spoiling our family's reunion dinner, aren't you?"
Nonsense, sheer nonsense! She was making a fuss out of nothing!
I was so angry that I wanted to kick her out of the way.
I had married into this family for five years, and because of the distance—about 600 miles away—I had never been able to go back home for Christmas.
At Christmas, I could only watch other women in the village beaming with joy, accompanied by their children and husbands, which made me envious. I envied those who married close by, able to visit their parents at any time.
But it was also on this day that George's sisters, Megan and Nora, would come back on time with their husbands and children.
They would always engage Karen in endless conversations, catching up on family matters, and then, without a doubt, the responsibility of preparing the meal for the entire family would fall on me.
They would occasionally pop into the kitchen to check on me.
"Oh, thank you for your hard work, Selena. I'm sorry, but it's rare for us to see our mom, so we talk a lot.”
Rare? My foot! They lived just in the neighboring village. They could bump into each other every morning at breakfast.
Clearly, they just wanted to leave the cooking to me, the one who couldn't return home.
I didn't mind, though. Instead of envying others for their visits home, I would rather keep myself busy so that the day would pass more quickly.
I married so far away impulsively, and I couldn't blame others.
So, I didn't mind cooking that meal. In fact, it helped me cope with my anxiety.
However, they took it for granted.
Even on Christmas Day, they wouldn't allow me to go home, expecting me to stay and continue cooking for them.
How absurd and comical.
I asked George, "Are you leaving or not?"
He was in a dilemma, looking at me and then at Karen, and finally said nothing.
At that moment, I was disappointed in him, in the husband I had chosen for myself.
I thought he was honest, hardworking, and suitable for a peaceful life, but it turned out that was all he was good for—just living.
When I needed him to stand up for me, he chose to keep silent.
"Mommy, can we still go to Grandma's house?" Mia tugged at my sleeve.
"Yes, Mia. Don’t worry," I comforted her, "you can go watch TV for a while, and I'll call you later."
She obediently went upstairs. As I watched her disappear at the top of the stairs, I lost my temper.
I asked George loudly again, "George, I'm asking you once more, are you leaving or not?"
Perhaps seeing that I was truly angry, he slowly walked towards me. The majority of the time, he listened to me.
Before he could take a few steps, Karen pulled him back.
"Don't be afraid of her! A real man shouldn't be so spineless, always being overshadowed by his wife. You're really a disgrace to our family."
George's father, David, had appeared by Karen's side at some point.
"That's right, George. I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time. Men should have the final say at home. How can you listen to a woman on everything?"
"You see how I've been in this family. Your mother never dares to contradict me. Even if I hit her, she doesn't dare to cry out."
George opened his mouth, seeming to want to say something, but looking at David and Karen, he then closed it again.
Good Lord, this man was so cowardly.
第3章
"Alright, George. If you won't leave, I will go with Mia. Don't regret it!"
"No, Selena. I'm going with you. Let's go, we'll leave right now, immediately."
He became frantic, forcefully pushing Karen aside and striding towards me, reaching for the suitcase.
Karen still stood in the doorway and shouted.
"I said, Selena, you are not leaving today. You can leave tomorrow, but not today."
But I was adamant about leaving today. She was deliberately making things difficult for me. Why should I listen to her?
"Your daughter can come back. Your daughter can visit her parents. Why can't I? I am also a daughter. I have my parents too."
"How can you compare with my daughter? They are married so close by, just a ten-minute drive, no expense at all. But your home is so far. The round-trip train tickets for three people will cost thousands.
"You really don't know how to manage a household. Are you just trying to waste money on train fares?"
"Do you really need to spend thousands just to see your mother? Can't you see her on a phone call or video chat? Or is there some other motive for going back? Are you secretly taking my son's money back to your home?
"A married woman belongs to her husband's family. Do you understand?"
I became increasingly angry with every word she spoke.
This was outrageous.
"I am their daughter. What's wrong with me visiting them? You also have daughters. Why don't you tell them not to come back then? If they can avoid coming back, I can too."
"You are just a cheap wife from afar. How can you compare with my daughters? Don't you have a bit of self-awareness? If you could have married locally, why would you have come all this way to marry into our family?"
The more I listened, the angrier I got.
George couldn't bear to listen any longer and tugged at Karen. "Mom, what are you saying?"
"Am I wrong? That's the fact. I disagreed when you wanted to marry her. We have so many good girls here, innocent and beautiful. But you had to bring back such a cheap thing from afar.
"Can't you see? My friends are all laughing at me, saying my son picked up trash from outside."
I couldn't bear it any longer. "Who are you calling trash?"
She was unyielding. "You! You're the trash that couldn't get married in your area, so you came to harm my son, making me shameful in this village."
Damn it!
She actually said I couldn't get married. I was not ugly and could earn money. How could she say I couldn't match up to her son? Why did she have such sense of superiority?
Was it just because we didn't ask for anything when we got married?
So, she always called me a cheap thing.
People in the village also liked to call me that cheap wife from far away.
I regretted it so much. When I got married, my parents said that since I was marrying so far away, they would not ask for any gifts for the wedding, just hoping my husband's family would treat me better.
In fact, they were wrong, and so was I.
Instead of treating me better, they looked down on me.
They felt that I was so worthless that even my parents didn't ask for any gifts for their daughter.
第4章
I checked my phone; the time was almost up. If we delayed any further, we would definitely miss the train.
So, I stepped forward with my suitcase and walked straight to Karen, bumping her aside.
Just as I was about to call Mia to come with me, Karen suddenly fell to the ground and began to wail loudly.
"Oh, the world has turned upside down. My son's wife is going to hit me! Is there any justice left in this world?"
I coldly watched her on the ground. "Act, keep acting. I'd believe it if I were a idiot."
She sneaked a glance at me, then immediately started to howl with her eyes closed again.
"Help! My son's wife is hitting me!"
I had no intention of entangling with her. I just wanted to leave quickly and go back to my home to see my mother.
But before I could call Mia, David, who was smoking, suddenly raised his hand and slapped me hard.
I was stunned, dazed by his sudden slap.
When I came to my senses, I couldn't stand it. Why would he hit me?
By what right did he hit me?
What did I do wrong that he should slap me?
George quickly supported me. "Dad, why did you hit Selena?"
"Why? You know the reason! It's all because of you. Because you're such a loser. You can't even control your wife, daring to talk back to your mother, then I'll help you control her.
"I'm doing this for your own good. I'm showing you how a man should be in charge. A disobedient woman should be beaten, even to death. Do you understand? Don't let a woman control you all day long. Do you know what the people in the village are saying about you?
"They say you've been bewitched by a cheap foreign woman. You're bringing shame to us men."
David even came over, pulling George's hand to point at my face. "Come on, hit her, hit her more. Let's see if she'll be obedient and still wants to go back to her home."
I was furious, utterly furious. I couldn't believe there were parents who taught their sons to hit their wives!
I looked at my obedient and cowardly husband. He didn't dare to look me in the eyes, but his hand maintained the posture taught by David, a posture ready to hit me at any time.
Before he could make a move, I raised my hand first and slapped his face.
It was a fierce slap. Because he just raised his hand under David's instigation, although he didn't actually hit me, in my heart, it made no difference to have hit me.
He looked up, finally meeting my eyes, with a bit of grievance. "Selena, why did you hit me? I didn't provoke you."
Yes, he didn't actually hit me, but his attitude showed he didn't completely stand by me.
He even raised his hand.
My phone rang. I saw it was a message from my mom.
[Selena, have you boarded the train? I think it's about time. What time will you arrive? I already started cooking. I'm waiting for you to get home to eat your favorite roast beef.]
I felt a lump in my throat and almost couldn't hold back my tears. Mom was looking forward to me going back.
But I couldn't go back today. The time had already passed, and the train had already left.
I held back my tears and sent a message back to my mom.
[Mom, I can't go back for now. Mia wasn't feeling well before leaving, so we couldn't make it. I'll go back in a few days.]
I didn't even dare to send her a voice message. I was afraid she would hear the crying in my voice.
But Mom's video call came through quickly. I didn't dare to answer and continued to send her messages.
[It's okay, Mom. It's just that Mia isn't feeling well and wants to grab the phone. I'll call you later.]
I could imagine how disappointed my mom was.
It would have been better if only I hadn't told her we were going back, but I told her. She had prepared all kinds of things in advance, full of anticipation for Mia and me to come back.
When she thought she was about to see me, I told her that I couldn't go back.
How disappointed and sad she must be.
I turned off my phone, holding back tears as I looked at the three people, whom I now hated so much.
They didn't let me go back. Alright, then none of their two daughters could go back either.
Since we were all married women, no one was nobler than another.
I would not allow them to come back!
I knew it was impossible to go back today.
So, I moved a chair and sat at the door, just where Karen had blocked my way out.
I blocked the entire door alone.